Running Realizations




Two years ago, I didn’t know that I would ever get back to being me. We had just brought home our little guy and were monitoring him closely as he had dropped nearly 10% of his birthweight; he had made the discharge really questionable, and I immediately began to wonder if I was capable of doing this mama thing. Sure, we had done it all before, but never with a toddler at home, and never in the midst of a pandemic. I struggled to settle in, to find my sense of self. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, my body didn’t yet belong to me again. I knew it could do amazing things - I was looking at proof of that in the two perfect humans now ruling my world. But there was so, so much work for it to do still. Those worries made one thing seem certain: I’d never have time to run, to lift, to train again.  

Today, as we prepare to celebrate our baby turning two and becoming a self-proclaimed big boy (he’s still my baby…always!), I can say I’m running more and further than I have in nearly three years. And while it’s certainly work to find the time to make it happen - and I’m not quite at the pace I once was (at least not yet), I have found that the regular runs, the many miles, have helped me find my way back to ME. 

While I was out on the trail today, after morning snuggles and a very delayed start due to laundry and the littles’ needs, I couldn’t help but think, “I’m doing this! I am doing hard things. And I love it!” 

A solid five miles made me 🙂

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