Almost Three and Totally Free

 I have been elbows-deep in learning and unlearning all summer.  My investment in antiracist equity work has led to countless hours of researching, reading, investigating, viewing, engaging, and sharing. This has been a priority, a true commitment to being a better educator, partner, parent, human. 

If I were to prioritize the above 'being' list, I know parenthood would be the first item on it.  Becoming a parent has not only changed who I am in many, many ways, it has also come to be the way I define myself.  I know I have to be careful with this -- there is learning and unlearning to do here, too.  And, thanks to some summer reading, Untamed by Glennon Doyle, I'm finding -- no, creating -- the freedom to do exactly that...and our tiny human, a perfectly free little being, has been an excellent model. 

BR and I were late eager arrivals  to parenthood (REMINDER TO SELF: We don't allow social constructs to define what's normal or right for our crew). We arrived with very specific, fundamental beliefs, many...or most..of which did not 'make sense' to those around us; we have worked mightily (and not always so successfully) these past (nearly) three years to remain steadfast in our values (REAL TALK: sometimes fear really does mess things up, and sometimes we're still afraid to rock the boat...we're working on it). 

Recently, I found a bit of quiet time to take in the episode of Brene Brown's podcast, Unlocking Us, where she interviews her friend Glennon Doyle.  During their discussion about motherhood, Doyle says, “What if good motherhood is not about being a martyr but being a model?”  Yesssss, Glennon Doyle, yessss!! What if?! 

And this morning, as I watched our tiny human freely navigate the start to her day, proudly picking out her clothes, and then heading outside to play in the dirt, I thought, "Yes! Model for your child; model freedom from expectations and the fear or rejection or judgement." So when H added a yellow dress, polka-dot rain boots, and a mustard cardigan to the outfit pictured below, I felt the deepest sense of pride and gratitude.  

We parent differently, we navigate our partnership uniquely, and we work really, really hard to ensure our little girl continues to live and explore freely! And we're very grateful she's been paving the brave and perfectly imperfect way for us.