Heartbeats

Evenings in the Runnells household typically go something like this: build block towers, stack cups and chase the kitties, eat all the avocado, splash around during bath time, read a book, and snuggle up in the rocking chair before bed.  Those precious few minutes in that rocking chair are the very best of my day, the quiet time I get to share with my daughter being the bookends of my day.

I have always loved the way newborns froggy up their legs and settle into the snuggle, and when I was pregnant, I'd often tell BR I couldn't wait for our little one "to curl up like a potato," as I was apt to say, "right here," pointing to the spot where my sweet little HQ eventually made herself right at home.

Tonight, before I laid her in her crib that dances among the shadows of the mountains her daddy lovingly painted on her nursery walls, HQ turned to me, looked deep into my eyes, and laid herself so we were chest-to-chest; she rested her head in the crook of my neck, and curled up like a potato, just as she did when she was brand new.  I kissed her head, laid my hand upon her back, and tried my best not to let my tears soak her jammies.  Nothing, not one thing, will ever compare to the rise and fall of her chest and the beating of her heart against mine.

Just this morning, I found myself thinking about the reality that there will come a time when HQ and I will not live in the same home (unless....do you think she'll want me to be her college roomie?!), that there will be a time in my life when I do not see my daughter each and every day.  For forty weeks, I grew a little person, and for nearly a year now,  I have found myself thinking, "And I thought I couldn't love you more!" Tonight, I was reminded that, in fact, a parent's love DOES keep on growing...even when she is sure her heart is ready to explode!


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