Saturday, August 22, 2015

Summer's End

I would be a big, fat liar if I said that I was okay with summer coming to a close.  The school year is always draining - mentally and emotionally.  My husband can easily attest to the fact that the commencement of the school year means the return of a woman he finds far less fun than the one he lives with from mid-June to August.  Despite my desire to grasp tightly to the lingering days of summer - when I can read what I want, run when I want, check my email without getting a knot in my stomach, sleep through the night - I admit, the end of this summer is different, maybe not so bad.

This is the first time in three years that I will not have to transition to returning to work AND living alone; yep, this time, my husband is coming home with me.  We love, love Colorado, and I do believe that we will find ourselves as permanent residents one day, but the past few years have been an experience when it comes to making that dream a reality. You know how they say that the stars have to align; well, damn those stars, they just wouldn't.  I wasn't ready to say goodbye to West (or teaching, potentially), but I also couldn't bear the thought of asking Brian to say goodbye to the mountains, and so we found ourselves in this weird cycle of visits with one another when cheap flights and two separate schedules would allow for that.

I've lamented about this struggle before, and though I am super bummed to have to watch the mountains fade in the rearview mirror (especially when I know that Brian must hate, hate, hate that feeling but would never say it), I am glad that this summer will be different, that going home doesn't mean being apart from the one person who makes me feel 'home'.  I am excited to see our girls -- thank you Jenna, Tony, and Kaiden for being their surrogate family this summer -- and am glad to build a routine, a life together again, and I am fairly certain Brian committed to making me breakfast every morning before work.  I like that routine!

I know that our future is undeniably uncertain, and I also know that it's very easy for people to look at our past few years with skepticism, to really wonder about our unconventional choices, but I know that these past few years have been critical for us.  They helped us each grow, they reminded us of how good and strong we are independently and especially as a partnership, and they brought us together with some of the most wonderful people.  Boulder is a strange, great place; our summer has been a strange, great adventure - from Boulder and Vail, to Squamish, BC, to Seattle, to Utah, and back to Colorado agin.  And as summer ends, I'm glad our journey together, as married peeps, and (part-time, one day full time) Colorado residents, is only just getting started!


No comments:

Post a Comment