Big Moments and Big Sky
To say that 2020 was fraught with big, bad moments might be the understatement of, well...2020, but I am going to say it: 2020 was full of big and bad moments. We cancelled Spring Break (because who wanted to play in a COVID hotspot, Seattle?) just in time to have our flight cancelled and vouchers issued for another trip good until March 2021, just before this year's Spring Break. I began teaching from home and slowly losing any semblance of a work-life balance. We stopped going out and giving hugs and started to help a then-two-year-old process a global health crisis, and then systemic racism and inequities. We helped her process her first loss, her (and BR’s) beloved cat, Ripley, and she watched me (I was keenly aware of this) process a major loss of my own, they of my good friend, Nickie. Like I said, BIG moments...
Our crew (my belly, really) was getting bigger. It wasn’t the COVID 19; it was a brand new human we had hoped for and I had started to believe wasn’t in the cards for us...but Everett was on board, and that was cause for both big joy and apprehension. What were we brining this tiny human into? But we were watching (Thank you, advanced maternal age, for the extra ultrasounds) our little one grow and anticipating all that would be for our family of four.
Anxiety grew as I waited to see what the 2020-21 school year would look like and I contemplated how this tiny human's arrival would be so very different from our first's - we let go of a lot of big moments...still we carried on.
Now, nearly one year after the confirmation of our crew upgrade to four - and the onset of COVID - we are making additional big moves. Aside from learning to swim, H has been learning to ski (BR has been dreaming of moments like these since - and probably before - her arrival; I can't get enough of watching him in his parenting element, getting after it with a tiny Runnells in tow!) and carefully crafting her older sibling skills. E is cultivating his sleeping game, his smiles, and his giggles. And we took our first big adventure trip to Big Sky, Montana.
I'm at the cusp of another big moment, my return to work. It is exciting and heartbreaking all at once. I am glad, however, for the family-leave time (extended slightly by E's early arrival), our Montana experience, and every moment BIG or SMALL with my babies. They are the best parts of us and the biggest part of my world!
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