We miss you every day.

Three years ago, on this day, I sat my baby girl at the her uncle’s grave.  I told her, as I had so many times before, about how lucky she was to have an uncle to hold her and an uncle to watch over her. I told her how sad I was - and would always be - that I couldn’t share him with her and her with him. And after my mom scooped up my sweet girl and allowed me a few big sister moments with my baby brother, I promised Matthew that my babies would known his name, that they would walk through this world with the honor of saying they have two uncles because their mama has two brothers who she loves beyond measure. 

Of course, that wasn’t enough. I have always wanted to do more, more to ease my parents’ pain and loss, more to honor my brother…just more.

Eight months ago, when I looked at my son for the very first time, I knew — I knew that I was looking at a piece of our family that had been missing since June 23, 1988. I knew that one thing I could do was give my son the honor of carrying my brother’s name. Matthew is more than a middle name. It is the promise I made, the guarantee that my babies will know their uncle and this part of their family story. It was the most symbolic way I could spiritually connect to the little boy we never got to watch grow into who I know would have been a most wonderful man. 

Today I will cherish, even more, those moments when I hear my sweet girl say, “Uncle Matthew like Everett Matthew.” I will look at my boy and know a piece of you is there looking back at me. We miss you every day.

I hope she saw a little bit of her baby in my baby’s eyes